I learned the concept of “Net Pleasure” in Life Coaching training and it could be my new favorite tool to help myself and clients navigate choices and “Intentional Indulgences”.
All you do is analyze the food, drink or whatever behavior may be currently causing ‘trouble’ for you – i.e., preventing you from reaching your goals – and you net out the end cost of continuing with this behavior.
It may look like this:
- PLEASURE: Snacking on nuts/chips/candy throughout the day.
- COST: Gain Weight/Feel Bloated/Blah
- NET PLEASURE: Negative
- PLEASURE: Over-drink alcohol on the weekends
- COST: Poor Sleep/Puffy/Weight Loss Stalls/Negative mental chatter
- NET PLEASURE: Negative
- PLEASURE: Split amazing dessert at favorite restaurant
- COST: Delicious – Work through a few carb cravings the next day
- NET PLEASURE: Worth it! In small doses on occasion.
- PLEASURE: Impulsively buy new clothes you don’t need
- COST: Debt or Low Bank Balance
- NET PLEASURE: Overcrowded closet. Money goals not met. Negative. (Maybe neutral if you really love the clothes, clean out the closet and catch up financially – but you see how this could be a “slippery slope”.)
- PLEASURE: TV or Social Media Entertainment
- COST: Zoning out. Not productive.
- NET PLEASURE: It can be neutral if you’re getting your work done and reaching your goals OR it could be a negative if it’s preventing you from reaching your goals.
Like most things, these are dose dependent situations. Binge-watching Game of Thrones all week and not getting your work done, is probably negative. I myself avoid any mind-puzzling website/technical work by scrolling social media or shopping on my phone.
The challenge here – should you choose to accept it – is that this tool requires pre-thought and honesty.
You have to think about your choices a bit beforehand to be able to zoom out on the long game. You need to put on your higher thinking skills and ask yourself: “Let’s see how this plays out.”
As I’ve shared before, I’ve been practicing changing my habits with wine for a year or so. I’ve learned that 1 or 2 glasses of wine – maybe 2 times per week is neutral and “worth it”, but more than that nets a negative result – both in terms of my goals and how I sleep, feel and look.
I more recently realized the zero net pleasure of mindlessly snacking (on nuts or keto friendly treats) – which is why I gave snacking up altogether in January.
For me, snacking was a habit. I rationalized it by saying that the snacks were “keto friendly”. “I’m just eating when I’m hungry” and “listening to my body”.
But the truth was, the snacking was not a means to satisfy hunger.
When I was snacking, most of the time, I wasn’t even present with the ‘eating act’ anyway. So not only did this behavior cause me to gain/not lose weight, but this habit brought me ZERO actual pleasure – maybe a subconscious dopamine hit to my brain – but it’s not like I was REALLY enjoying any of these snacks consciously.
I was using snacking to take a break, distract myself, avoid work and/or uncomfortable feelings.
I can now take a break from work without snacking. I’m continually practicing – figuring out how to work through uncomfortable feelings without defaulting to old behaviors that yield negative net pleasure.
Try this too! I created a worksheet for Insiders (email sign up here). You can use this template to get started on your analysis. This’ll help you break the bad habits that keep you stuck, so that you too can reach your goals.
Let me know how you do!
