I drank for the first time since New Year’s Day this weekend.
Interestingly, it wasn’t that great if I’m being completely honest.
I craved wine like crazy during each weekend of my PaleoCleanse and then, when the Cleanse was over, I followed my Clean Eating (and drinking) plan, and I was kind of surprised when I experienced a foggy, dull, blah feeling while finishing up the second glass that I allowed myself (per my plan).
The first sip – maybe the first half a glass – was really nice, but after that, it was just ‘meh. I felt like falling asleep.
Two of my dear friends (who had continued drinking after I’d stopped) even gave me a mini intervention noting that I’d “changed.” – “You look tired.”, they said.
I have changed. I am tired.
Could I finally (and literally) be tired of drinking too much?
Perhaps I was tired because it takes a great deal of energy to make myself stop drinking in social situations. These are patterns I’ve formed since high school and college after all.
In the past, I would have just pushed through this realization (or ignored it entirely), given into social pressure and eventually get to a place of desensitization and disconnect (and a good buzz), which would then lead to my old patterns of overdoing it, poor sleep and self loathing the morning after.
I know this happens for many people with eating too. Think of Gramma pushing the heaping bowl of pasta or the birthday cake pass-around. Food can be just as hard to resist as booze for a lot of us.
Whenever we work toward changing a habit or pattern – which I am – it takes tremendous effort and focus – especially in the beginning. This is my beginning.
Wish me luck (and presence).
Last week I introduced you to the 5 Ps of Customized Clean Eating (and Drinking) and hopefully you downloaded the workbook. (Existing Nourished Path Community peeps, check your inbox from 1/21 – I sent you the direct link because my email system won’t send you the confirmation download for some reason.)
Today I wanted to dive into the first P – Personalize. This is the deepest, most foundational step in the whole deal.
Why?
Because it requires your complete honesty and self awareness both on a physical level, but also on the level of your deepest desires and mental/emotional patterns and beliefs too.
In the workbook, I have 2 templates that are focused on the food/physical. This is a great place to start to uncover your attachments to certain foods (and drinks) and reflect on why those attachments are even there to begin with.
This is also about being brutally honest with yourself about the IMPACT those attachments might be having on your body, your goals and your sense of well being.
I’m sharing my wine journey LIVE as I go through this myself. (BTW – sharing like this makes me feel very exposed and vulnerable – not because I think you’ll judge me or think less of me – well, that has crossed my mind too – but because alcohol ls not something to be taken lightly. Alcohol abuse is serious and I don’t want to be flip about it.)
So let me lighten things up a little and share part of my food related journey as another example, starting with the big G…
– that’s right, GLUTEN.
I’ve been gluten free for over 5 years and everyone close in my life knows it. It’s like it’s tattooed on my forehead:
But few people realize or remember that I spent YEARS prior to this going back and forth on whether or not gluten was really an issue for me.
I didn’t want to let my beloved bread go for God’s sake.
Bread is biblical!
What about sandwiches!!!???!!!
Finally my research, genetic testing, autoimmune disease and crappy feeling all came together and I conceded and I agreed with myself that I am gluten free and it’s no big deal.
DECIDING TO CHANGE.
OK – enough about me.
For all you action oriented people, your assignment this week (if you choose to accept it) is to start with your Personalize step.
Go as deep as you can, be 100% honest with yourself and make your Clean Eating Plan without being overly restrictive. See where you can find a nice balance and make your personalized plan sustainable.
That should be the goal.
Just because I want to drink less, doesn’t mean you need to. It’s not about me setting the standards and rules. You get to do that. If you’re totally happy with where you are in life – don’t change a thing. Keep doing what you’re doing.
BUT – If you’d like to make some changes and get unstuck from patterns that don’t support your growth, happiness and health, be courageous and start making changes. Book a session with me if you need support through this process. This is what I’m put here on this planet to do.
And remember you can always change your plan! It’s a self discovery process that will always evolve and fine-tune itself for as long as you stay aware.
Stay tuned. I’m going to be completely transparent and share what I experience with wine/alcohol and whatever else pops up so that hopefully you can apply whatever resonates with you and your triggers, processes and patterns. I have a feeling, one way or another, that this more moderate drinking thing will be a big shift for me this year.
What about you? Any shifts in store? Please share your thoughts by commenting and let me know what you need help with. Your feedback is invaluable in my process, content and service.
Thanks for being here.
In love and health,
Ev
