(And How to Release It)
You’ve probably noticed that there’s been a significant evolution in my work in the “weight loss” and healing space…
The diet and fitness industry would have you believe that losing weight is strictly a matter of calories in/calories out. Eat Less/Move More.
Going further into Functional Medicine approaches, the focus gets more nuanced to involve balancing your “macros” to stabilize blood sugar, insulin and hunger hormones, eating more protein to help build more metabolic muscle, adding key nutrients to support cellular function, eliminating foods and toxins to lower inflammation and to heal the gut.
And although all of these interventions CAN “work” and be very supportive; for many of us, we’ve done all these things…ad nauseam!!!! …and yet we STILL struggle with stuck weight or symptoms.
In truth, many of us have gone too far with these interventions – bordering on obsession – creating metabolic derangement, food fear and more disconnection from our bodies and ourselves.
It’s frustrating because you’re so careful to do everything “right”… following all the latest recommendations and “bio-hacks”…intermittent fasting, cutting carbs or foods that are deemed “bad,” pounding more protein and adding in foods that are deemed “good”, lifting weights and doing cardio (but not too much)…and yet the scale won’t budge and excess body fat remains.
Why does this happen?
In a nutshell, your body – especially in midlife – is designed for survival.
Survival, to your primal physiology, means “not starving”.
All of the diet/exercise focus – all the “trying desperately” to lose weight – all the self-loathing – can actually backfire and create stress signals that tell the body to store excess energy for future use.
Pile this on top of life stress – which is “normalized” in our culture – but is anything but….
…along with our habits and patterns of coping (usually shaped from childhood)…
….along with the body and nervous system sensing “DANGER”…
All of these combined perpetuate the message that “I am not OK. I am not safe.” which equates to fat storage signaling….
How to Break Out of This Cycle
Like I’ve been saying for the past several years, finding balance and harmony in the body so that it releases stored energy (aka: Excess Body Fat) requires both an inner and outer approach.
With the outer approaches, you may need some guidance to confidently adjust your nutrition, exercise and lifestyle in a way that signals “safety” to the brain > nervous system > hormones and metabolism.
This may entail eating and moving more or less. If you use food or alcohol to “cope” or “comfort”, we’d work at that root level of shifting beliefs and patterns as well.
In general, I teach clients to soften any rigidity and force around diet and movement by coming more into the body – more into acceptance – more into trust.
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Which brings us to the foundational “inner work” (see graphic above).
I won’t go into all of these foundations in detail as this is already getting long…so let’s start with the first key step and that is EXPRESSION.
It has to “come out” to “come off”.
For most, we’ve been conditioned to suppress our emotions, to dissociate from the body and deny our true needs and who we really are.
Many of us place our focus on working to make money to make ends meet, to meet societal standards and/or on nurturing others wants at the expense of our own.
You can call this people pleasing, a lack of self-worth, “not enough-ness”, martyrdom, insecurity, materialism or having a savior complex…
When we stuff down our emotions and needs, the amount of energy required – and the stress that causes – is enormous.
The “weight” you continue to carry by denying yourself, and perhaps eating or drinking over your emotions – comes at a heavy cost. Literally!
So your inner work (if you want to evolve and heal) is to start safely practicing balanced emotional expression – which includes knowing and speaking your truth, expressing what you need and desire…first to yourself…(via reflection, self talk, journaling) and then – when you’re ready – to a trusted “other” – a coach, counsellor, therapist, friend or partner, for example.
NOTE: Although not as common. in my experience, If you consider yourself TOO expressive emotionally or too “needy”, you may have to look at balancing your expression the other way to bring in more grounding and centering into your practice.
Where do you typically find yourself when it comes to emotionally connecting with and expressing your feelings and emotions?
Do you have a hard time placing your needs first? Does it feel selfish? Does it feel impossible? Do you easily put your needs aside for the benefit of others? What’s the story you tell yourself?
If this doesn’t resonate or make sense to you… how keeping your feelings IN contributes to poor health and stuck weight, please let me know that too.
I never would’ve considered this when I was doing Paleo or teaching Keto classes and fasting 18-22 hours a day either.
And that’s OK.
This is a deeper insight and an evolving process I was guided to explore in myself – which is why I feel called to share it with you.
I’d love to hear what’s happening in your world and experience (and of course I’d love to help you find a better balance too).
xo,
Ev
