I used to think my hormonal imbalances, low thyroid symptoms, overeating (and drinking) and my subsequent weight struggles were about crappy genes and a lack of will-power and discipline.
I thought that things like that just came with age.
Maybe I needed to dial-in my diet, my exercise and my habits better…Maybe I needed to adjust the demands of every day life – cut back on work (or quit), spend less money, scale back family schedules, etc..
But it turns out, the “root-root cause” of ongoing health imbalances – physical, mental or emotional – has more to do with the balance of energy you carry which is influenced by your “programming” – your beliefs, patterns, behaviors.
I’m referring specifically to the balance of the masculine and feminine ‘energies’.
I know – this may sound ‘woo-woo’, but it’s really not – especially when you take a closer look.
The masculine and feminine energies are not about your physiological gender or sexual orientation. Whether you’re born male or female; in our modern society, the masculine energy rules (but this IS changing! YAY!).
Just take a look at how these masculine traits have been glorified:
- Order
- Strength
- Competition
- Dominance
- Discipline
- Structure/Rigidity
- Builder
- Protector
- Productivity
- Action
- Force
- External focus
- Analysis
- Mind
- Logic
- Science
Then look at the “weaker”, feminine traits:
- Flow
- Soft
- Open
- Expansive
- Abundant
- Create
- Nurture
- Trusting
- Surrender
- Nature
- Receiving
- Embodied
- Expression
- Emotion
- Heart
- Love
- Intuition
Our struggles and imbalances occur when there’s a lack of balance between these two energies. When we’re stuck in thinking and disconnected from feeling. When we’re all in our heads – looking outside of ourselves instead of being in our hearts and going within.
Most of our suffering (and eventual dysfunctions) begin right there.
I remember an enormous masculine influence in my corporate career (1988-2010). Growing up in the 80s and 90s, movies like “Working Girl” set the stage for the “power woman”…”Having it all!”
We dressed like men in power suits – and we were expected to act like men. I even remember a part of me wishing I was free from my home-life so that I could be more fully in my work (So that I could, what?? Get ahead, get more stuff? feel more important?) Everything we did was about endless meetings, being seen by upper management, systems, analysis, productivity and KPIs (Key Performance Indicators – GOD, I can’t believe I remember that!).
Emotions were taboo and non-existent in the workplace….
If tears (or breast milk) happened to seep out, that was a HUGE sign of weakness.
This masculine programming impacted me hugely – and I’d imagine most women felt similarly – and maybe still do.
Just think about society at large – how we were raised and how we may have raised our children…especially these days…
I’m not here to argue politics, but nowadays understanding gender is even more distorted, confused and blurred. Much of it serves as a major distraction that continues to divide and take us outside of our own selves – our truth – while placing the focus on the external BS.
Today, there’s more debate about gender identity and pronouns – but zippo about balancing the male and female aspects of ourselves – which we ALL have and we ALL must harmonize in order to be truly balanced.
Rather than focusing on gender identity labels, let’s go inside ourselves and explore our own ways of being.
Start to take a look at where you may be dominating on one side – and lacking in another – and see if you can nurture more of that masculine/feminine balance. When these energies work together, the body-mind works better too.
Since most of my readers are female, here are some signs of masculine dominance and female deficiency:
- A need for control
- Body dysmorphia
- Overthinking/over-analyzing/over-working (over-anything)
- Perfectionism/OCD
- Rigidity
- Mindless or emotional eating (or over- eating/drinking)/disordered eating
- Hormonal imbalances (especially stress hormones)
- Menstrual irregularities or menopause symptoms
- Low sex drive
- Anxiety/depression – or both
- A lack of joy (feeling dull or flat)
- A need to numb/escape/feel better
- Poor sleep
- Poor digestion
- Weak immunity
- Headaches/Migraines
- Pain or tension in the body
- Weight loss resistance or weight gain/loss
Hmmm 🤔….Any of these sound familiar? Got anything else to add to the list?
Before you start looking further outside yourself for interventions, solutions or remedies to these SUPER common traits and states, consider first that these signs may actually be guiding you toward a deeper need to tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy a bit more.
Here are some easy things to start with to nurture your feminine:
- Spend more time and be present in nature (with way less time on technology)…Go barefoot if possible (Google: Earthing or Grounding)
- Move your body naturally (less sitting, more stretching, dancing, expanding, – try gentle yoga, tai chi/qi gong)
- Sing!
- Instead of Googling, following a recipe or using your navigation, go within and allow your heart to inspire you and provide you with the answers, ideas or guidance
- Play music you love vs. listening to talk
- Play, laugh, have fun, connect with others
- Share your feelings with someone you love and trust
- Have a good cry
- Ask for help
- Receive (i.e., help, compliments, gifts, loving feedback, loving touch)
- Foster your creativity (i.e., art, writing, crafting, designing, planting, gardening, etc..)
- Touch – even if it’s touching yourself (no – not like that 🤣 – well, there’s nothing wrong with that, actually) but I’m talking more about literally placing your hand on your body – start with placing one hand on your heart and explore where your other hand wants to go…and then…breathe
- Practice Deep Breathing or Breath-work
- Journal feelings, worries, ideas, gratitudes
- Snuggling, hugging, kissing, loving sex
- Thought work (observing your mind with curiosity in order to connect MORE to any false identities, beliefs and programming that create feelings, emotions and sensations – & seeing how this shows up in your body-mind)
Over time, by nurturing one or two of these simple practices, you’ll start to step more into harmony with your feminine and masculine…and you might just find that the problems, symptoms and behaviors that bothered you just naturally start to resolve.
Give it a go and let me know what you notice….
