We all know that diets don’t work…💁🏻♀️
Even rebranded “integrative/functional medicine approaches” softened with clever wording such as “ways of eating – WOE”, “eliminations”, “healing protocols”, “detoxes”, “resets” and “challenges”.. are all based on food rules – so they’re essentially diets in disguise (although sometimes helpful to experiment with in the short term).
Having been steeped in this sort of “diet culture”, placing myself in restrictive, dogmatic eating boxes for most of my teen to adult life, it’s been quite the journey coming out of unhealthy diets/disordered eating > which then led to an obsession with “evidence based eating/healing approaches” > to now fully embracing food and body freedom.
I had my doubts about choosing this level of freedom. You may have some too.
The biggest concerns being, “How will I actually lose or maintain my ideal weight?” or “How will I get/feel better, age well, or heal XYZ condition or symptoms?” or “Won’t I just eat or drink myself into oblivion/addiction/obesity/lethargy if I don’t have rules or structure?”
All valid points – which is why it’s really important to expand the view of Food & Body Freedom through the lens of wholeness. Which I break down into 4 key areas:
🗝 The practice and intention around “Food and Body Freedom” encompasses ALL aspects of being – It’s not about eating and drinking whatever (and as much) as you impulsively want.
It’s coming into complete ALIGNMENT with all of your “being-ness“.
How you feel and look and what you “do”are not only about the things you desire and consume or the calories you burn or the weights you lift…
This freedom space contains the entirety of living and creating the most connected and aligned experiences that ultimately will manifest the next version of YOU – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
This freedom is connecting to what your heart desires and whatever it is you decide to create in your reality – moment by moment, choice by choice… with self love, connection, curiosity (a willingness to understand yourself more deeply) and self compassion guiding you every step of the way – even if you slip back into old patterns.
🗝 Recognize that your current state of your physical reality/experience is the result of what you’ve believed and done up to this point.
(I’m using your relationship with food or alcohol, your weight or health status here, but this can apply to money, relationships, work – anything in life.)
This is not a judgement or another reason to beat yourself up, it just “is what it is”.
What you’ve “done” to this point has created your current experience and reality – and of course this goes WAY beyond calories ingested. The inputs/outputs include:
- “programmed” beliefs (i.e., self perceptions/body dysmorphia, lack of self-trust or confidence in your ability to create and sustain what you desire, fear around getting ill or aging/gaining/losing weight or genetics: XYZ runs in my family, food/body fears or distortions from experts/books/media: XYZ food or carbs are “bad”, I must eat 100+ grams of protein a day, i need to look this certain way to be worthy or accepted)
- physiological adaptations (cellularly, nervous system, hormone signaling, neurotransmitters, immune defenses, digestion, detox, etc..)
- coping mechanisms (emotional eating/drinking, numbing, avoiding, escaping, deflecting, suppressing)
- habitual patterns (well practiced neural pathways that drive behaviors – that seek safety/belonging, avoid discomfort/pain and seek pleasure)
- emotional repression (self-abandonment to go-along, please others or avoid rejection or pain)
- disconnection from your true Self and your body and instead seeking/defaulting to external influences (trends, cultural/societal norms, experts/authorities, whatever is most readily accessible/available/affordable/appealing)
In today’s modern world, If you struggle with your relationship with food/alcohol, your weight or a health condition/symptom, the first thing you probably do is research things like this:
- What or how much to eat/drink or not eat/drink…
- Healing/movement/lifestyle protocols, “challenges” or resets
- What supplements/medications to take
- What doctors/practitioners to see
- What tests to take
- What exercises, treatments, tips or bio-hacks to try
All the focus is on the “doing” and how to “fix” the problem… with basically ZERO interest in understanding how you got to this place to begin with…< critical if you desire true food/body freedom.
Which is why you may feel so stuck and frustrated with your lack of progress….
You’ve been trying all the things, feeling better, being “good” and then…you find yourself back there again…Either a new problem pops up or the weight/symptoms/habits come creeping back again.
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE THE WORK TO SHIFT/HEAL THE ROOT CAUSES THAT CREATED THE “PROBLEMS” in the first place.. (OR maybe you have done loads of “work” but there’s still a disconnect somewhere or simply more healing to work through.)
I’ve been there too, believe me…If you’re anything like I was, you may have found yourself constantly chasing your tail, white knuckling it or beating yourself up, restricting then binging, numbing/avoiding, trying new diets, workouts, trainers and experts, seeking answers outside yourself and allowing your old “programs” and all the external noise and trends to run the show.
🗝 This inner work doesn’t ignore or negate the external inputs and possible solutions that diet/lifestyle changes provide.
Diet and lifestyle ARE super important!
Leading with the inner work though, actually helps you DISCERN and INTEGRATE more wholly through your own internal guidance and body – what you already know to be true and best for YOU.
…So that your actions – the things you “DO” or experiment with – carry a sense of trust and ease, they ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD and are in alignment with what you want to experience.
…So that if/when you make a choice to indulge mindlessly or excessively, you lovingly and deeply connect with WHY you made that choice and then acknowledge the consequences of those choices to then decide if those choices would be “worth it” going forward (like finishing off the bottle of wine or eating too much bread, sugar or chocolate or eating something that you know causes bloating, joint pain or headaches).
…So that you’re not blindly following someone else’s rules – so you don’t become fearful of food or of messing up or become so perfectionistic and rigid that the pressure and obsession builds and, paradoxically, becomes unhealthy and unsustainable…
…So that you’re not bypassing emotions, skating past the root causes and crappy beliefs/fears/insecurities that are the actual drivers of your behaviors and biological responses > which, has/will create your current experience and future results.
It’s in this more open and healed space that you’re able to step into your own empowerment that leads directly to true inner and outer freedom.
As you begin to question and understand what’s really UNDERNEATH your triggers, auto-pilot behaviors, symptoms, urges and desires, you can start to work more deeply with all that emerges…and then you can decide to practice interpreting and doing something that’s more in alignment with what you wish to believe and create NEXT in your physical reality/body experience…
You can decide to practice dismantling old survival/safety structures, let go of false/limiting beliefs, shift what has actually been DRIVING your physiology and psychology OR you can also choose to keep doing what you’ve been doing a little longer and observe and learn from the experience more.
You get to decide if you’re ready to experience something else OR maybe you’re realizing you actually prefer it here OR maybe you’re simply being wishy-washy and not clear about what you really want…OR maybe you’re just tired of the struggle or scared to change/ let go of the patterns or the identity you’ve created…which leads to the final key…
🗝 There’s no right or wrong way. You’re not broken or stuck. There’s no one and no circumstances to blame…BUT YOU are responsible for all that you’re creating.
The deeper question is “Can you be happy and accepting in this place you’ve created or are creating?”
If you’re not happy with what you’ve created or are creating, then you’re not actually free. That’s the wishy-washy place I mentioned above. So I’d encourage you to go back and gain clarity in order to fully get on board with what you really want to create and WHY.
For me, after decades of restriction and abstinence and then going off the rails, I finally decided that I want to enjoy a few drinks most weekends and maybe dessert or something deliciously “worth it” on occasion.
In addition, I’m very clear now that my body/mind is no longer aligned with “crushing it” at the gym. I prefer natural movement, embodiment practices and nature…
More ease and flow. Less pressure and force.
Now let’s just say to sustain this freedom choice, I may not have 6 pack abs and jacked arms.
Am I OK with that?
Yep. That’s my choice right now. (I can always reevaluate.)
Now, let’s say you REALLY want the ripped bod. (As your sounding board and guide, I’d encourage you to really explore why that’s intrinsically important to you – challenging compensations/insecurities or societal ideals you may have been unconsciously indoctrinated into, etc…)
But for the sake of this example, let’s just validate that being jacked is a deep down soul level desire.
OK. No problem.
If you’re in true alignment, that desire will eventually outweigh the desire for weekly drinks and desserts (or you’d figure out a very moderate approach or substitutions, etc)…AND you’d also have to be willing to invest in the sweat-equity needed to build that desired body in a way that works for you physically, mentally and emotionally.
So through that inner examination and realignment, you are now creating YOUR very own version of food & body freedom.
Now all you need to do is believe it’s possible and patiently put all those aligned changes into your daily practice.
Is this easy? No. Usually not at first. You’ll likely discover that old patterns/habits want to hang on. Desires may intensify. That’s normal. (In my example, it’s really easy to have those drinks and indulgences, but it’s not always easy to love and accept my not-ripped body especially as someone with a history of body-dysmorphia. Just being real.)
With self compassion and curiosity, you commit to observe, evaluate and shift back into alignment over and over again. Being OK with and learning from any failures.
Over time, with (mostly) consistent implementation, your aligned desired state starts to emerge and you’ll start to experience less of a pull from the old patterns of behavior that created your old results – and your new results will manifest.
And because you’re committed to your expansion and your inner work AND you’re patient and trust yourself .. as you continuously aim for being and acting in alignment, your success is pretty much guaranteed. 🙌
(If you’d like to chat more or work together, feel free to access my schedule here.)
