‘No duh’, you might be saying…but how many times do we keep doing the same things over and over and find ourselves stuck or undoing the positive changes we’ve made in the past?
Kinda like Groundhog Day…
It’s that annoying, but often necessary 2 steps forward, 3 steps back scenario.
I was talking with a client who went through one of my more intense coaching programs this spring.
She did awesome – really uncovering some patterns and beliefs she held for years about avoiding feelings of overwhelm, restricting food and over drinking.
The old EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE mantra was imprinted deeply into her consciousness, along with the natural human tendency to want to avoid painful experiences, PLUS the endless access our entire culture has to foods and behaviors to numb ourselves into oblivion.
Turns out she actually wasn’t eating enough and she wasn’t eating in a balanced way for her lifestyle and genetics. We connected almost daily at the beginning of her program to get clarity and make connections.
Over time, her goals and actions became aligned with finding that optimal balance of being able to enjoy life — along with being able to reel things in the next day before allowing old habits to take hold again. She had found her ‘food flow’ and her body responded with weight loss, improved symptoms, more energy and confidence.
BUT…recently she reached back out noticing that she’s slid back more and more into those old ways.
AND THIS IS GOOD!
(HELLO, it’s about being human, not perfect!)
What’s so good about the back-slide?
Well, It’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself. To go deeper into your programs and vision for your life. Most importantly it’s a realization that unless something changes in her thoughts and actions, she will not make the positive changes she wants to make in her life. Something has to change to achieve change! It’s a process, not a 2 week, 30 day or even 90 day thing, It can take a lifetime.
As is the case for almost all “dieters”, they slide back into more strongly rooted subconscious programs and habits and end up even more metabolically damaged than before, because most don’t go deep enough into the subconscious beliefs and corresponding patterns that got them there to begin with. The food restriction just dealt with the symptom (weight/poor health) – not the cause (unique to every person, but usually involves some emotional coping habit) – which is why most people gain the weight back (or get unhealthy again).
Ask the question, WHY? Why am I going back to those misaligned behaviors of eating or drinking?
Am I sabotaging myself? Why?
Am I numbing myself? Why?
Am I just being mindless? Why?
Is there something physical/functional going on that’s hindering my health?
What might it be?
Is it hormonal, digestive, nervous system, immune related?
If you suspect something’s off, come see me or a functional practitioner to get to the potential causes.
For her, she shared that the combination of stress – wanting to avoid the overwhelm and pain associated with it – and easy, frequent access to highly pleasurable foods and drinks was setting her back.
She knows this and she’s catching herself now to reenforce the deeper vision she has for herself. (It’s also important to confirm that the original vision is still relevant. Sometimes it can change or get clearer in some way.)
That’s the first step: Awareness and reconnecting with her goals and how great she felt when she was more aware and intentional.
The next steps involve conscious effort.
She has to apply what she learned and what she knows works well for her more often than she’s doing now. This isn’t about perfection and being “good” or “bad”. It’s about being connected and honest with yourself instead of reactive and hiding your deeper truths.
This is where we can apply mindfulness practices to deal with overwhelm and avoidance (instead of using food or alcohol to numb out and escape). This is also where we can tweak things a bit to make sure you have the nutrients and pleasure you need to feel balanced, satiated, not deprived – no matter what’s going in in life.
(PSA: Watch out for those dear enabling/sabotaging friends and family members – even if they don’t realize that’s what they’re doing. God Bless ’em. These gals or guys are the ones that want to help you feel better with the very things that’ll make you feel worse in the long run. Bless their hearts and ignore their influence or you may even want to avoid them while you work on getting stronger.)
This is where having support from a coach, group or a really aligned friend really helps.
We’re running our seasonal Group 14 Day PaleoCleanse after Labor Day (double discount code in this week’s and last week’s email if you’re on the Nourished Path Community email list). Yes, there’s a level a restriction with the program, but it’s just the initial reset, not the cure. My hopes for the group is that they transition to more mindful approaches and find their own unique food flow…(after their liver’s are all happy and able to metabolize better…:) This is not an invitation to yo-yo diet, restrict-binge again! It’s just the reset button some of us need on our journeys of self discovery. <3)
Wishing you awareness and truth on your journey,
xo Ev
