The biggest red flag that reveals that I’m not dealing with the “root-root cause” occurs when I lament or blame an external substance or situation for my “results” (meaning how I look or feel based on my choices).
When I over-drink or overeat (which, not gonna lie, I can still do – just way less often), my first instinct has historically been to point my sore/puffy finger at my social life or maybe the time of year…
- I’d blame my behavioral tendency to drink fast (especially those hard seltzers that taste like nothing!)…
- or perhaps too-generous wine pours at the table
- or the food/drink pushers or the peer-influence of my ol’ drinking buddies.
- or my social anxiety
Once I’d pinpoint the ‘scene of the crime’ and the ‘usual suspects’, I’d quickly establish my plan to “be good” (which meant to restrict more) for the days or weeks following, topped with creating convincing internal promises and rules to limit myself “next time”.
And let’s be real, emotional/over-eating/drinking obviously doesn’t have to be “social” either – i.e., #QUARANTINE15.
Many of us who’ve struggled with overeating or drinking, weight or health imbalances are conditioned to use food or alcohol to celebrate, experience joy or to have fun and/or to cope with ANY discomfort, stressful situation, relationship or family dynamic or even world events.
Which is why I always say:
It’s not about the food (or the booze. It’s not about the situations or the people…)
It’s all about the brain.
So when you notice your brain doing any of the things I describe above (seeking more rules, restrictions, recipes, excuses, blaming or shaming), what those things are really telling you is that you’re seeking external solutions (band-aids) or scapegoats – to fix a problem that’s based in your own mind (habits, patterns, associations, old beliefs, misaligned thinking, living a life out of balance, etc…).
Uncover YOUR root-root cause, my friend, and you’ll be able to start practicing new ways of being that align with the person you now truly desire to be.
