If you deal with hormonal imbalances, thyroid/adrenal issues, gut issues, weak immunity, addictions or emotional eating/drinking, subsequent weight gain or weight loss resistance (even when doing all the healthy things), I can almost guarantee you have a habit of suppressing your emotions…especially difficult ones.
Which means you may be used to denying your feelings altogether OR you’re ruminating, overthinking or dwelling on those feelings via your MIND (or mental side) WITHOUT fully processing, expressing or releasing them – without truly FEELING them – through your heart consciousness < and that’s the key 🗝
This is done as a means of self-protection – in order for the heart to feel “safe”.
Along the way, you’ve likely learned that difficult emotions – the ones that cause discomfort or pain or trigger old traumas – activate the survival part of the brain – which is hardwired to:
Avoid pain. Seek pleasure. Automate it.
…and this is how the habit of suppressing emotions is born.
But this habit comes at a hefty price.
It takes an ENORMOUS amount of energy on your mental side to keep those emotions at bay.
You may use food, alcohol, shopping, technology, overwork, over-‘ing’ anything…You’ll tend to find any form of escape to deny the existence of these emotions in order to avoid actually feeling them.
But they’ll ALWAYS be there. Taking up space in your consciousness and in your body….using up energy….creating more and more pressure.
Until you allow them to be seen, felt and released.
If you’re anything like me, you may have gotten so good at denying your challenging emotions that you don’t even know that they’re there! (as I shared in my email).
And this is where the practice of connecting with your heart and body comes in. This is the starting point on the healing journey.
As a nutritionist/Life Coach that specializes in the challenges of the midlife woman, the first physical sign that something’s off is typically weight gain or some kind of negative symptom (hormonal or functional – digestion’s a biggie!)…
The beginner client will seek some sort of food plan – an elimination diet, macros, portion control, fasting etc… Maybe some supplements or tests, or some hacks or tricks, or maybe a workout or healthy habit or practice to hopefully lose the weight and/or improve the symptoms.
And don’t get me wrong, these external ‘things’ can do wonders, for sure…
…but they rarely get to the “root-root cause” all on their own….and they hardly ever last a lifetime…
In most cases these things can create yet another means to distract from the root-root causes – taking her further away from it – away from the emotions or traumas she’s scared to face and experience…so she never really gets better long term.
If she loses some weight, it eventually comes back. If she heals her gut or hormones, something else pops up… the shiny new habits or programs get old..She reverts back to what’s easier and more comfortable…..or she jumps to the next shiny new thing…
If any of this rings true for you, here are 5 practices to get you started on this deeper healing path:
- HEART CONNECTION…When you notice an unwanted behavior or symptom – or catch yourself overthinking/worrying, place one hand on your heart, take a few deep belly breaths and ask: “What am I feeling right now?” Wait for your HEART to answer (not your head). Assure your heart that it’s safe to feel. If nothing comes right away, let it go – but commit to trying again…and again…and again…it WILL come through…you just might be really, really good at blocking it (which is simply you protecting your precious heart).❤️🩹
- WRITE...night or morning – doesn’t matter when – just write. Take a few minutes (or more) to just write what’s going on in your life…but bring in more space to write about how everything feels…good, bad, boring, worrisome…ask why – start to safely explore the feelings behind the happenings in your life to foster that head/heart, do/be connection.
- MOVE… intentionally with the body AND the breath. I recommend embodiment practices (I love Qoya) or simply tune into your body as you take a walk outside….Or get off the chair or couch in the evening and either move your hips, neck, shoulders, legs, arms or lie down and open up the body with simple stretches – legs up the wall or up in the air, some gentle side twists, bear hugs, child’s pose, etc.. – Google some free gentle yoga videos on Youtube.
- TALK…Find a trusted friend, partner, coach or therapist that you can safely express emotions with. This is not intended for you to moan, groan, blame and complain (= STUCK IN VICTIM CONSCIOUSNESS), but more-so for you to acknowledge, understand, integrate, process and to take full responsibility for your true FEELINGS and how they may be creating your physical reality. (WHICH LEADS TO MORE EMPOWERMENT).
- CONNECT WITH NATURE…spend more time outside around plants and trees, water, earth…I recommend earthing or grounding barefoot if possible. Breathe in and experience your feelings through the heart and body, (tears may come – that’s good). On the out-breath, release what’s ready to go – what no longer serves you – send it back into Mother Earth (this is along the lines of the expression: ‘Let go and Let God’ if that speaks to you).
As you learn to trust yourself enough to FEEL what needs to be felt and expressed, you’ll create more space – more energy – for healing, for inspiration, deeper insights, more connection, your creativity, more of your heart’s desire, more love and joy and appreciation will✨ flow through you ✨. – and you’ll also find that your old distractions and coping mechanisms will start to be less and less necessary to get through each day.
You’re not alone….I’m on this journey too…right here with you. 💞
xo,
Ev
