“You gotta understand, I love food!”
…many women proclaim this when they contact me wanting to lose weight, improve eating (or drinking) habits and get off the yo-yo diet – lose > regain – cycle once and for all.
But here’s the problem with this statement…
When you link the strongest human emotion to food (or wine/alcohol or other non-living things), you’re giving it WAAAYYY too much power and control over you.
Food doesn’t love you back.
You loving food is a one sided relationship.
And that’s disempowering which will only set you up for stronger attachments and feelings of hopelessness when it comes to the food.
Imagine that you hire a nutritionist/coach to help you lose weight. She teaches you about nutrition, you determine what you should eat, how to build your meals and (if working with me :)) how to indulge in balance and STILL reach and maintain your goals in order to make it a lifestyle.
Sounds great, right?
Except in your mind, you have this strong belief that you LOVE food.
Do you see how that unrequited food love can create a big gap between what you say you want and what you choose to believe?
That gap is created by the conflicting belief that you love food more than you love the vision you have for yourself.
You love food more than you love making the changes that will improve your life physically, mentally and emotionally.
Do you love healthy, nourishing food? That’s probably not your problem.
Do you love overeating this kind of food? Do you love consuming decadent indulgences? Do you love eating any kind of food – any time – beyond your body’s physical balance and needs? < THESE are usually the problem.
Is this truly LOVE – or do you use and over-consume food/drinks when what you really long for is more love, connection and balance in your life?
Do you love the feeling or the distraction you create by over-consuming foods/drinks that don’t really work for your body and goals?
These are the questions to ask yourself.
REFRAMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD
Rather than assigning “love” to food, here are a few reframes that can help you better align with more balance:
- I enjoy sharing really good wine (or cheese, pasta, ice cream or Creme Brûlée) with close friends.
- I appreciate when my loved one makes my favorite dish.
- I feel nostalgic and young when I get together with old friends and we share our favorite ___________.
- I’m grateful we can gather for movie night & popcorn as a family.
- I enjoy baking cookies with my kids.
- I know chocolate is one of my favorites.
- I remember this restaurant makes really good bread.
You may notice for some of these reframes, the emphasis shifts from the food/drink to the experience you’re having with people, places or things.
By softening the emotional positioning of some of these indulgences, you may already feel less of a “charge” with the food/drink.
That because it’s from this lower charged place (in terms of minimizing the importance of the food/drinks) that you can tap more into what REALLY matters <THIS is where your choice and power lies.
You’re accessing your higher consciousness and seeing the bigger picture – not focusing on the desire for the “things” involved in the experience.
Now you can practice choosing moderately or even abstaining if that works for you.
I like to preface my inner dialogue statements (thoughts) with “Even though”:
“Even though I really enjoy this wine, I know if I have too much, I won’t sleep well tonight, so I’ll savor it and just stick to 2 glasses.”
“Even though they make the best pasta, I KNOW I really want dessert, so I’ll pass on it this time.”
“Even thought, that bread smells so good, I know gluten wrecks me, so I’m going to skip it.”
“Even though chocolate is my favorite, if I have too much, I gain weight.”
You can also aim to neutralize or even reframe the food/drink in a negative light, but that can actually create more intense desire because usually you’re just trying to convince yourself (which is kinda like restriction plus lying to yourself).
Bottom line: Your words matter.
Reserve the power and honor of LOVE for the living beings in your life. It’s totally fine to have good feelings about foods and drinks and to experience pleasure with them, but they don’t deserve your precious love. ❤️
