Motivation, Discipline, Commitment….
You know these are necessary to achieve any kind of success and transformation, but HOW do you get there (and STAY there)?
Oftentimes, we think it’s things like:
- A better system (meal prep, recipes, apps, tips, tricks)
- Someone for accountability (a coach, trainer, expert or buddy)
- Incentives (a number on a scale, a clothing size, looking good in pictures)
- Penalties or Consequences (disease, increased healthcare costs, needing bigger clothes, avoiding pictures or being seen, poor self-image)
The reality is all of these things are externally focused.
The truth is motivation, discipline and commitment all come from the same place…
INSIDE YOU.
You may USE any of the external resources above to help you along the way, but without the INTERNAL decision to “do the thing” – consistently…you can easily ignore and/or adapt to any and ALL of those external things….and I mean easily.
Do you see yourself in any of these scenarios?
- Joined or purchased books, programs and systems to plan meals, lose weight, heal or improve fitness only to end up never starting or giving up soon after.
- Paid for a coach, trainer or expert to solve your problem but ended up not showing up for sessions or not sticking with it.
- Had the incentive of a vacation or event where you wanted to look and feel your best, but didn’t follow through or even bother.
- Experienced the consequences of weight gain, symptoms, poor health and emotional despair but continued with poor habits and making excuses.
You see, when you focus on the outside, without looking in first, you’re setting yourself up for failure…
Motivation, discipline and commitment must be SOLID, grounded and locked in FIRST or else you’re basically throwing those external tools at the problem without any solid foundation to support the structure.
TOOLS FOR SUCCESS
These are a few key tools you can use right now to start aligning your DESIRES with your ACTIONS so that motivation comes from a deeper place inside of you. Get a piece of paper out and write these out:
- YOUR DEEPER WHY. Ask yourself WHY you want to make this change…Why do you want what you say you want? Once you have your first answer, ask why again…ask again – and again – at least 5 times…each time going deeper into what that “spark” is that makes this desire even matter….Often times, our why’s are weak….We don’t have enough connection and attachment to the outcome to justify the energy and focus required to make the necessary changes.
- CULL HIDDEN NEGATIVES. Oftentimes clients come to me wanting to lose weight, but subconsciously, there may be negative ramifications that come with that result. Left unexplored, this will very likely lead to self-sabotage. For example, losing weight may mean that you get more unwanted attention from others. That may feel unsafe, or it may make a partner feel insecure. Or you may lose friends who can’t accept you showing up in a different way. Find and reframe those hidden loopholes that will weaken your motivation.
- ACCEPT THAT CHANGE IS HARD. AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS. Transformation is not easy. EVER. Think about finishing school. Advancing in your work, business or career. Working on a successful relationship or marriage. Giving birth and raising kids…Geez, even having a pet can be hard. Same goes for changing habits, healing and losing weight…If it were easy, we’d all be skinny and perfect! Ha! Accept that this journey is going to be HARD. It will get easier and you’ll get better at it with time, but it’s frickin’ supposed to be hard – especially in the beginning of the change process as you leave old patterns of behavior and coping/emotional eating patterns behind. .
I hope you see where you may have been missing the mark when it comes to expectations around “motivation”….It’s not some magic wand or something only a lucky few are blessed with.
I can’t give it to you. No one can.
But I can guide you to connect with that force INSIDE of you. Once you do this, THEN you can use all the external tools you want to help you get there…and STAY there…
Keep me posted!
xo,
Ev
