Over these past few years, I’ve realized that for my entire life, I’ve avoided feeling my feelings. I especially avoided any uncomfortable or painful emotions that would expose any vulnerabilities.
As many experienced growing up, big feelings and emotions were often looked upon as bad behavior, “weak”, not tolerated or problematic.
As strong feelings rose up in me, I’d automatically shut them down – I’d “think” them away – by either rationalizing, ruminating, distracting or avoiding them.
Like me, you may have placed intellect and achievement – getting things done, pleasing others, being “strong” through challenges or acquiring more knowledge or “things” – on a very high pedestal with very little room for emotional expression.
Well, the jig is up, as they say…
I’ve realized the utter inauthenticity, fakeness and self-abandonment – the box I’d put myself in – by living life in emotional denial…
True strength and true healing only comes from your ongoing relationship with your feelings and emotions.
“You’ve got to feel it, to heal it.”
You need to trust that your feelings and emotions that come from your heart are the ultimate navigation and lie detection tools you intrinsically possess. 
Emotions – energy in motion – must be experienced and FELT in the body and NOT INTELLECTUALIZED, rationalized, diminished or avoided.
Your feelings guide you not only to your truth, but most importantly to the lies and compensations you’ve created – and have held onto (likely since childhood or even through generational traumas).
To truly feel free and good in your body, mind and life, you must strive to understand and take responsibility for the stories and protections you’ve created – the habitual responses – the beliefs and the lack of safety you still clench as being the truth.
These stories are not true in the now. Those protections and compensations are not needed. In fact, they are exactly what’s holding you back.
Where do you start? (some prompts)
Using the prompt above reflect on:
If, why and how I may be THINKING my feelings or AVOIDING feeling my real root feelings instead of deeply feeling them?
Connect with the sensations in your body – your heart. You can create more self-awareness and understanding at a deeper level by asking:
WHY it is I DON’T allow my emotions and feelings to express and flow?
If you believe yourself to be an emotional person already, ask yourself:
Are my emotions dancing on the surface – stuck in a loop – or are they getting to the real root – the CORE of my wounds and the beliefs about myself and about life?
Perhaps, there’s a story you’ve told yourself. A fear of losing control. A risk of losing something – of lack – of being hurt or dying – a fear of failure or of success – a fear of being rejected, abandoned, humiliated, shamed, judged or criticized.
Go deeper:
What is the childlike belief or wound(s) that needs to be healed and transformed?
In a quiet, relaxed space with a few minutes of uninterrupted time, maybe a journal to write, take a few deep breaths. Start with the prompts above and then allow what comes to come…inviting deeper understanding of why, when and how you might be avoiding feeling more deeply in favor of thinking or suppressing…
Go into this with the intention of inviting deeper understanding and safety. Let your heart and higher consciousness lead this process (not your head).
TRUST yourself. If you’re guided to work with a therapist, a dear friend or someone like me, follow that.
If you’re being guided to do this inner work by yourself, follow that. There’s no right or wrong.
Just commit to doing the work – regularly.
You are not only SAFE to feel anything now as an adult. If you desire healing, freedom and peace in your body, mind and life experience, you MUST allow your feelings to express.
Don’t waste another precious moment of your life on the surface – in denial – in blame and victim mode – or in your head – pushing through or bypassing.
