As I held my napping granddaughter on my chest, (exchanging oxytocin aka: the love hormone), I reflected on how precious this relationship and these moments are. I then simultaneously regretted how I didn’t allow these moments (as much as I could have) as the mother of my own baby girls.
I was often wanting free hands so that I could get things done. I recall feeling “touched out” and too needed.
Lots of P R E S S U R E.
Of course, my 3 babies didn’t create these feelings.
I did.
My baseline was busy. Busy was better. It was my Badge of Honor.
Getting things done – household chores, work, exercise, meal prep, projects, errands – these tasks weren’t going to complete themselves…and from an ego perspective, getting them done created a sense of accomplishment, value and worthiness.
Not getting things done felt like failure.
Which felt like the worst…So even when I was with my family, I wasn’t really WITH them…if you know what I mean. I was constantly running my list through my head.
This accomplishment/productivity = worthiness lie is the lie many of us have – or are currently partaking in as a society.
The focus on the external DO-ing, the constant striving for more – has distorted the internal BE-ingness which is where our heart longs to dwell.
You are enough. You have enough. In this moment, you have all you need right now. Appreciate it all.
Our hearts need stillness and rest in order to be felt and heard. It’s from this place that emotions, love, pain, wisdom, desire, inspiration, our inner knowing and intuition can actually be experienced and then expressed in our physical reality (or released and let-go).
Yes, there’s stuff that needs to be done…ESPECIALLY as a mother or care-taker…
But as you practice heart centered living – trusting that accepting and loving yourself and Life enough to BE PRESENT with yourself and those you love…
…as you allow yourself to FEEL what needs to be felt…
…your clarity, flow and inner wants, needs and desires then have S P A C E to emerge… which then lays down the path for true inspiration and inner peace to flow…
It’s from this place that you create sharper discernment about what REALLY matters….
…which might actually allow many things to be culled, pushed back, consolidated, or delegated from that huge to-do list of yours. 💁🏻♀️
Try this exercise the next time you catch yourself overwhelmed or spinning through your to-do list or considering adding something else to your to-do list:
- Close your eyes.
- Place a hand on your heart space.
- Take a nice deep belly breath or more if you need to.
- Feel into your heart and body.
- Bring up each to-do on your list (Or the new one being considered).
- HERE’S YOUR REFLECTION AND CHOICE POINT
- For each task, CONNECT AND FEEL into it.
- Is it feeling EXPANSIVE or open?…This might feel like calm, peace, joy, tingling, sparkly, excitement, smiles, warm, lightness, happy tearing, chest opening or leaning forward…OR
- Does it feel CONTRACTED or closed? This might feel tight or tense in the body, shoulders caving, heart closing up or racing, jaw clenched, throat closing, head tight, heavy, dread…It could also feel frenzied or urgent – like an antsy, gnawing type craving for more.
If it’s the latter, perhaps consider it a ‘NO’ task —- which may mean flat out. NO — or ‘NO, not now’ — or ‘NO, here’s someone else that can take it on’ —- OR if it’s absolutely GOT to be you right now, then remove or plan other tasks accordingly (with more space) and while you’re at it, work in some self-care or recovery around that misaligned task to be sure you’re not depleting yourself.
Rinse and repeat with all your other current and future tasks.
Let me know how you do with this…Or where you’re feeling challenged or resistant to it….
xo, Ev
