I’d say about 90% of the people I work with want to lose weight. Rarely is weight the only health issue presented.
In fact, I often say that being overweight is a symptom. Never the root cause.
Underneath the weight is some sort of imbalance – emotional, habitual, functional, genetic, environmental, etc…
By the time they come to me, weight loss clients have tried various dietary or exercise interventions.
The interventions either didn’t work at all or maybe they worked, but the weight came back (and then some).
Sound familiar?
It sure does to me.
I’ve been a lifetime dieter since junior high, starting with restricting food, a little purging, over exercising, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers, Cabbage Soup Diets, The Master Cleanse, Fit for Life, Vegan, Vegetarian, Pescetarian, Zone, South Beach, Atkins, Low Fat, Low Carb, HCG, Paleo, Keto…and everything in between.
I know the struggle and I’m finally done.
I decided a while ago to approach eating from a healthier perspective – with the vision I have for my health – instead of self hate, restrictions, arbitrary food rules and deprivation.
It’s an evolving process that changes like the seasons. It ebbs and flows and it’s all good. I call it “Food Flow”.
Now I teach people how to find their own “Food Flow” so they can get out of the white knuckling, restrict-binge cycle of HELL and be at peace and in alignment with their true desires – including their body desires.
It starts with 3 Steps:
- CLEAR VISION AND DEEPLY ROOTED “WHYs” – It is absolutely necessary to have a crystal clear vision for your life and health in order to have a solid foundation when life gets stormy – which it will. No one has a vision of their life to be 40 pounds overweight with bloating, joint pain, low energy and health issues.
It starts with daring to dream about how you want to feel in your body – in your life.
What’s your vision? What is your ‘dream self’ able to do? What does she wear? How does she move? How does she inspire others and live life? How does she eat? How does she get up each day? Here’s an example:
My vision for myself is me living free and comfortable in my body and skin. I wear my 2 piece on the beach while I run into the water, swim and splash around with my family, husband or dance with my girlfriends. I like – no love – my body. It’s shapely and toned – not too cut or bulky. I don’t feel like I have to hide it. I eat foods that nourish me – that make me feel vitalized and hydrated. I enjoy a glass of wine or two with no guilt or ill effects. If I want an ice cream cone with my family after our amazing beach day, I wholeheartedly, without any angst, savor my favorite – (small Basil in a Gluten Free cone from Salem Farms…thank you very much!).
Aaahh…that’s my vision.
It’s not restrictive…it’s free.
True – I’m not quite there with the frolicking in my 2 piece part yet, but the vision is strong. It makes me happy. I touch base with it a lot so that I follow through with how I eat, drink and move – Maybe not 100% perfectly, but most of the time, I’m in my flow with this vision.
WHAT’S YOUR VISION?: Take some time to create your own vision. Maybe it’s reversing a health condition or symptoms and picturing living your life with energy and joy. Maybe it’s having a chiseled six pack and 8% body fat and working with others to achieve the same goals. Maybe it’s walking your daughter down the isle or being able to run around with your kids or grandkids in 20 years…Go deep, ask yourself “WHY” over and over again and release all existing beliefs or “realities” that you think you’re plagued with. There are no limits with vision except those you create. Take this step in the process very seriously and take your time – even weeks…take the time and commit to your vision and visit it often.
2. HONEST INVENTORY OF HABITS AND EXCUSES – As your vision unfolds, it’s important to identify the patterns in your thinking and living that block you from achieving your vision. Get a piece of paper or journal and write down everything you do or think that conflicts with your vision. These are usually subconscious programs and habits that keep us stuck.
Things like:
- I hate exercise. I’m too fat/self conscious to exercise. I’ll probably hurt myself if I do this exercise, so I won’t do anything at all. I’m lazy. I’d rather watch The Real Housewives than take a walk. I need to be on Social Media instead of doing 20 minutes of yoga. It’s too hot out. (That one is true, but what’s wrong with sweat? It’s detoxifying! Get out there and then just drink more water!)
- I love bread (Thanks for that one, Oprah!). I NEED cheese on my burger (and a bun). I have to have birthday cake at the party (it’d be rude not to, right?)
- I can’t lose weight anyway, so might as well eat whatever. Or I always lose and regain the same 20 lbs.
- I’ve had a hard day so I need a glass of wine (or 3) < that’s mine Or, I need to have a drink with my friend or if he offers me a beer, I should take it.
- My mom and dad have/had this health issue (or are overweight), so I will too. That health issue is my destiny. It’s genetic.
- I have to follow a strict meal plan to lose weight. I need structure (aka restriction – aka I don’t trust myself or I can’t control myself with food).
- No one can eat just one. (Super effective programming, Lays!) OR Once I eat cashews or potato chips, I can’t stop. < that’s me too
Identifying these habits and excuses is a critical step to building awareness and eventually setting new programs and patterns. It’s also possible to reframe the habit so that it’s a positive conscious choice versus something that’s shameful and out of your control (like my basil ice cream cone choice or enjoying wine consciously versus as an escape).
You can absolutely choose to have the birthday cake or bread as long as it aligns with your vision.
So maybe you choose to have a bite of cake…or 2 beers at the bar.. or whatever it is. Take it in with mindfulness and pleasure – and absolutely no guilt. That’s the key right there. It’s an energetic shift that can make all the difference in staying the course or giving up on your vision.
IMPORTANT: The conflicting patterns that don’t support your vision will keep coming up and if your vision isn’t strong enough, you may throw in the towel altogether when (or if) you succumb to the habit or belief. So work with these first two steps concurrently and completely.
3. CONSCIOUS ACTION – This is where the rubber hits the road. Something has to change in the right way, for you to get different results, right? So you can’t just dream and journal your way to losing 20 LBs or reversing Type 2 diabetes or mastering a pull up (that’s another vision of mine).
You have to make consistent life long changes to achieve consistent life long change. Period.
BUT..This doesn’t mean that you have to deprive yourself and force yourself and fight yourself every second of the day. I know that doesn’t work and if you’ve ever been on a ‘diet’, you know it too. This is where the “flow” comes in. But at first, the actions require thoughtful and constant attention.
For the first 3-7 days you’ll need to pause before each decision and ask yourself: “is this action moving me toward my vision or away from it. You may determine that an action you really want to take, moves you away from your vision, but in the moment, you decide to do it anyway.
That’s OK.
This happened to me last night. We were hanging with friends we haven’t hung out with in a long time and let’s just say the wine was flowing. I went with the flow because my experience in the moment was pleasurable and I trusted my body could handle the slight excess. (I also hydrated and took my liver detox supplements before bed so that I would sleep better – which I did :).)
Don’t get me wrong, those extra glasses of wine, were not getting me closer to my bikini vision, but my vision also includes fun, enjoyable experiences with friends and family. My vision does not necessarily entail a chiseled 6 pack either. If it did, I may not have made the choice I did.
Because I’ve gone through decades of restricting and binging, my Food Flow allows for flex and flow and wiggle room once in a while. For me, that’s sustainable and balanced. It may take me a little longer to get my physical body where I envision it, but my mental body is at peace and I need that in check in order to stay the course.
If, on the other hand, I restrictively forced myself to not drink, I would feel deprived and may eventually rebound in another setting to make up for the restriction. This is the pattern I’m breaking through this process.
The key is to be honest with yourself, forgive yourself, don’t beat yourself up and learn from those slips and contradictions. Revisit the vision and celebrate how far along you are. Are you ready to make the necessary adjustments? Are new patterns forming? Are they supporting the vision? When you’re not in alignment, reflect on ‘why’ with curiosity, not remorse.
Your vision, patterns and conscious actions are going to be different than mine.
Let’s say your vision is the 6 pack. You’ve dug deep into the ‘Why’s’ of that vision and it all makes you feel awesome. If that truly is your vision and you’re completely aligned with it – you’ll do anything to get it and maintain it. That means you may live a life of more food/alcohol restriction and physical activity – but you’ll do so gladly because you want it really bad. You may start hanging out with people that work out, eat healthier and don’t drink…AND it’ll feel right, because it’s all aligned.
See where I’m going with this?
If you want change in your life – in any area – health, appearance, money, love, work – please do this work. I promise you’ll learn more and get clearer and closer to your goals. Next week we’ll tackle some of the tactics and tools to use on your health journey so tune in and share this with those who may need it.
Please keep me posted! I love hearing from you.
xo,
Ev
