Feelings & Metabolism

When you think of metabolism, you probably think in terms of body weight and maybe even thyroid function and energy. You might believe that those who struggle with weight and sluggishness have a “slow” metabolism or low functioning thyroid and those who can eat anything and maintain their weight and go all day, must have a “fast” metabolism and healthy thyroid. You likely hear about foods and supplements that “boost” the metabolism.

Here’s a more “official” definition from the National Cancer Institute (NCI):

You actually metabolize EVERYTHING you take in – everything you think, feel, experience, consume, ingest or apply to your body, mind and heart consciousness.

As the definition states, what we consume and metabolize changes your chemistry – which in turn, changes your energetic state and genetic expression.

You know this from your hormonal response to “stress”.

The brain perceives “threat” which, in our modern culture, can be as trivial as watching the news, a social media post, a family squabble, traffic, an email or phone call.

The stress response from the brain and nervous system signals the body to increase the release of cortisol and typically re-regulates other hormones in various ways – mainly to increase blood supply to the heart, lungs and limbs and to decrease “non-essential operations like digestion, reproductive hormone regulation, sleep hormones, immune function, cell & tissue repair, glucose and fat metabolism.

The last part of the NCI definition has huge implications too.

IF whatever is taken in is toxic and not metabolized (“gotten rid of”), it essentially remains ‘stuck’ in the tissues of the body…creating MORE stress which impacts cellular and systemic function that may proliferate and manifest into physical or behavioral compensations such as symptoms, disease, addictions and any number of disorders.🤯

One of the biggest learnings for me along this journey of restoring my own healthy balance, is the reality that un-metabolized and unresolved feelings and emotions are at the ROOT of most – if not ALL – metabolic dysfunctions including autoimmunity, illness, symptoms, sensitivities, and of course, weight.

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After decades of perfecting my diet, exercise, lifestyle, labs, supplements and stress, I came to this hard truth:

As much as I put my efforts toward controlling all I could with the “external” inputs like…

…what and how I ate and drank, how I moved, rested, slept and took care of myself physically…

…along with managing my “mindset” by striving to be mindful and intentional with my thoughts and beliefs…

I pretty much ignored one of the most important internal inputs in my desire to have an optimal life and balanced middle-aged metabolism (and body):

ALLOWING MY FEELINGS & EMOTIONS

I’ve only recently learned through the past few years of study, healing, inner work and exploration, that at a very young age, I adapted to my child-like perceptions of not feeling “SAFE” or “GOOD ENOUGH” by suppressing my emotions and feelings – thus rejecting myself – basically hiding who I really was.

This is a VERY common occurrence whether your childhood was traumatic or “normal”.

Why?

Because growing up, it’s imperative that the child maintain or attain a sense of safety, acceptance, value and worthiness….

The child must feel seen, heard, loved and SAFE in her body and emotions, otherwise she’ll likely abandon and dissociate from her true Self and from her own body — from her essence, emotions and feelings – as a means of self-protection and survival. She essentially hides and eventually forgets who she really is.

For many of us, ours and past generations expected children to be well-behaved – “seen and not heard”. There was no space for shenanigans or emotional expression for most — and if you did act up, you were usually physically or emotionally punished – bullied or ostracized by authority figures and peers.

When you think about your childhood, can you relate?

Probably so…Going back to the profound way that your feelings/emotions effect your metabolism:

As the above image depicts, emotions and feelings come up – emotions come through the body as sensations that can be felt. Feelings arise in the mind as mental thoughts that generate emotions OR they form in how the mind mentally interprets emotions, energy or bodily sensations. Feelings and emotions often occur unconsciously, but can be conscious too.

At that moment you have 2 choices:

>>> You can ALLOW your feelings/emotions to be felt, connected with and understood in the body so that they are allowed to metabolize – to be processed, cleared or released.

>>> You can DEFAULT TO PROTECTION mode – in whatever way you figured out how – to get through and adapt to your automated 🚨 perceptions of alarm and un-safety (usually rooted in unresolved childhood trauma which tends to lead to a dysregulated nervous system and/or fear-based beliefs).

For me, my way to compensate for challenging emotions was through dissociation from my body and emotions (suppression)… stuffing any feelings down. I was proficient at denying the existence of any emotions quite automatically. Feelings weren’t really allowed to enter my conscious awareness at all because they equated to shame, rejection, punishment and vulnerability.

I was labeled as shy. Sometimes I would use food to cope as a child. Later on, I’d use smoking, drinking and partying as a teen and through college.

As a young career-minded parent, I’d use overachievement, hyper-independence, perfectionism, control, judgey-ness, cleaning, looks, materialism and a false persona of the “perfect mom” and modern woman – adaptations to hide and protect the real me from any pain, discomfort or vulnerability.

Spiritual bypassing was another easy way to suppress emotions and feelings (distorted teachings abound in cultural, religious and New Age doctrine).

For others, the coping response might be through OVERLY expressing- by acting out of control, blaming, bullying or carrying victim consciousness. Others may come up with destructive, dysfunctional or deviant ways to cope – whether these behaviors are seen as “good” (workaholism, overachieving, overexercising, people pleasing, obsessiveness with anything like cleaning, appearance, making or saving money, etc..) or “bad” (hedonism, living in denial, addiction, gambling, overspending, hoarding, stealing, lying, gossiping, escaping, etc..).

Whatever the coping mechanisms, if they’re causing a sense of disconnection within you, you’ll likely start to experience the cost of un-metabolized feelings in your physical life including your body, beliefs and behaviors which often spills over into your relationships, money, work, home, self image, connections and overall well-being.

So it may be worth looking back at the REAL ROOT CAUSES to fully understand how your adaptations and self-protections may be effecting your health and life and your ability to FEEL NOW as an adult.

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OK, But How?

This isn’t a quick fix, so it helps to be open and patient as you view this as part of your healing journey or as a process.

The key is to focus LESS on analyzing or mentally trying to THINK your way through the feelings and emotions – and realize that you need to actually FEEL them somatically – physically through the body and heart – slowly, gently, compassionately.

Here’s a heart-based imagery technique you can try IF you feel safe to do so alone (or with a practitioner if it’s too intense to do alone):

• Sit or lay comfortably. Taking a few nice deep and wide breaths into the back and sides of the ribs, close your eyes and sink deeper into your body – focusing on the heart. I like to place my hand on my heart to somatically bridge that connection.
  • Remind yourself that you are safe in this moment. If this doesn’t feel true, it’s ok to try another time or to get additional support.
• With curiosity, openness and wonder, recall a challenging circumstance, belief, struggle or relationship that you’re currently dealing with. How does this challenge “activate” or “trigger” you in your present life? What feelings or emotions come up for you? How do you typically cope or escape these feelings?
• Ask yourself when in your past you felt this way – or when or why you adapted to or learned to cope in the ways that are negatively impacting your body, mind or life now.
• Listen for the answers through the heart – not the head. If the head starts analyzing, rationalizing or creating stories, gently use your breath to come back into the heart and body. Try again.
• Scan the body and connect with any sensations.
• What and where do you feel these sensations? If you want you can place your hand on this part of your body.
  • Describe the sensations in as much detail as you can. What do you notice physically/energetically? i.e., tightening, gripping, twisting, sharp, racing, fluttering, pulsing, dullness, achy. Perhaps you’ll get an image, color, temperature, smell, texture, sound, etc..
  • Can you further sense the feelings/emotion(s) tied to these physical sensations?
• Continue to breathe and assure your consciousness that you are completely safe. Allow an open sense of curiosity and wonder to bring your consciousness to this younger version of you (the “Inner Child” or younger you that first felt this challenge or feeling).
  • Bring up an image of this younger version of you in your consciousness. How old is she? Connect with her. Look into her eyes. Tenderly imagine that you’re holding her hands or hugging her. (If you have a physical photo to look at that’s great too.)
  • Feel if anything more comes up from this younger version of you. Tears are a great sign, but maybe there are deeper feelings of shame, anger, frustration, fear or resentment. Perhaps you weren’t being protected, understood, cared for or loved. Perhaps you hold a feeling of powerless, rejection, abandonment, loneliness, confusion, betrayal, unfairness or the pain of criticism. Connect with your “Inner Child” and allow her to share her experiences softly breathing into the felt sense in the body.
• Tell this younger version of you how sorry you are that she went through those experiences – that you get why she didn’t feel safe or seen, understood, accepted, protected or loved back then. That you see how vulnerable she was and how understandable (and brilliant!) she was to figure out how to cope at such a young age with such challenging circumstances.
  • Tell that version of you that you are safe now and that it’s really important that those past stuck feelings are allowed to be seen and MOVE so that they aren’t kept in your body and psyche any longer.
• This releasing process is subtle – it cannot be forced. You are allowing the stuck energy of the emotions to start to be metabolized and released. Feel into these feelings.
  • If it helps, visualize them detaching from whatever part of the body they were stuck in. Soften and breathe into this area. Allow your senses to create whatever image or sense is most resonant for you. If you feel ready to let go, allow this energy to dislodge and move through and out the body.
  • Again, don’t force anything. It’s important to be in a place of allowing and flow.
  • Is this version of you ready for Grace to allow the feelings to be metabolized? Do you trust the present version of you and accept that you’re safe now? Are you ready to bring down the walls and release the protections?
  • If not, it’s OK – and it’s OK if it’s only loosened up a bit for now – or if only small amounts are released – or maybe nothing at this time.
• Repeat whatever steps or techniques resonate with you when you have the time and space and when it feels true and safe to connect release more. ❤️‍🩹

Adjust any prompts to make this exercise work better for you…

Trust yourself and your process as more awarenesses, struggles or symptoms arise. Use your own imaginings and visualizations that relate most to the feelings, emotions and challenges that you’re healing.

Your challenges, triggers or symptoms are your guides – they are GIFTS that are calling you back to yourself.

Unmetabolized emotional energy reveals a part of you that you’re still protecting even though you truly are safe and worthy and loved. Your feelings and emotions are longing for freedom and expression – they are not something to suppress further or to distract yourself from with external interventions, blame, distraction or more numbing.

Please let me know if this resonates and how you do with it. Or please share other techniques and practices that are helping you along your healing journey. We’re ALL healing our Inner Child. It’s time. There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not alone.🥹

xo,

Ev