| Have you ever done a “diet”, elimination, detox or fitness challenge and after the period of effort, focus and/or restriction was over, you found yourself RIGHT back to your original patterns of behavior? Of course you have! We all have! Sometimes this boomerang effect is gradual – other times it’s immediate…Rarely does it stick long term. Why does this happen? It’s simple. You, me..we ALL tend to approach body change and self improvement EXTERNALLY focused (btw the media, health and fitness industry LOVES when we do this, but that’s a rant I won’t get into today)… Here’s what I mean: 🙅🏻♀️You’re focusing mostly on the food or drink rules, trends, supplements, medications, doctors, tests, treatments or behaviors to remove, change or add, believing that they have all the answers, will fix everything and/or that you will naturally prefer these new ways of being once you get them out of (or into) your system and try them for a few weeks, months (or however long). 🙅🏻♀️You’re typically relying on the rules, beliefs and opinions of others – experts, teachers, doctors, trainers, books, influencers or even research – all of this is coming from outside of you – disconnected from you, from your own body, life and your own inner wisdom and knowing. 🙅🏻♀️You’re ignoring the real root causes – the intrinsic drivers, beliefs and mental/emotional wounds and traumas – hidden behind WHY you chose those foods or drinks or behaviors to begin with – or WHY your body or mind is struggling so much with life or with certain foods or with whatever symptoms or behaviors are presenting. 🙅🏻♀️You’re discounting the immense power of the subconscious – the programmed neural pathways that you’ve established – probably for decades.These well worn programs automatically lead you to choose to soothe, numb, escape, avoid, distract, tense up or lose it… You don’t feel safe, seen or supported.You feel stressed and triggered.Your nervous system becomes dysregulated and your protective patterns (usually from childhood) kick in (as they should until you consciously practice changing them.) THIS IS THE INNER WORK! This is why if you want the changes you desire to become automatic – to become NEW HABITS/NEW NEURAL PATHWAYS – you need to integrate and dive DEEP into your own inner work and practice it! It doesn’t really matter what external rules, testing, supplements, gadgets, tools, hacks or approaches you attempt next until you identify and integrate your new practice. If you skip this part, I can guarantee your efforts will be temporary at best – or a complete waste of time and/or money or even physically or psychologically harmful at worst (although I believe the waste and frustration of all of our failures can lead to more inward reflection eventually – so “it’s all good” as they say)… The foundational aspects of change and body improvement that I establish with clients (and myself) before jumping to the external plans include heart-based self inquiry like: 1. What do I desire for my body and life? Why does this matter to me? 2. What’s been getting in the way? Why don’t I have this now?Go deeper here because it’s not about the scale or food or the alcohol, triggers and stressors, your age, genetics, your social circle, your family, job, finances or world events…This is about something within you that’s compensating. You’re out of balance, triggered or dysregulated for a REASON. What is/are those REAL ROOT reason(s)? 3. Hand on heart, deep breath and ask yourself, when and why did I experience or learn this behavior adaptation? If it’s a physical or mental symptom, ask these same questions. What beliefs or protections am I still carrying from the past? Are these true and necessary NOW? What small shifts in perception or actual changes need to happen WITHIN ME first before I seek answers outside of me?It’s ok if one or some of the answers are internal shifts and some are external actions, just listen in stillness to what comes from the HEART (not the HEAD which is full of “shoulds”, judgments, rationales, excuses and self protections).If it’s challenging to discern what your next steps are or what happened in the past, you can seek guidance or support and/or go back to the first two responses and take a few moments or even days/weeks to reflect and you’ll find that more clarity and inner wisdom or even synchronicities may come through… 4. When you do arrive at the aligned shifts or actions to take, practice them – and be ok with messing up and failing. Of course, you wouldn’t set out to fail – always be in your integrity – but just know that making mistakes and flubs are part of the learning and change process too. Trust and be patient with yourself. Our culture and many popular nutrition/exercise challenges like Whole30, 75Hard, etc are rooted in perfection and “All or Nothing” mindsets. (If you’re not perfect or if you mess up, you start over from Day 1 – that type of BS.🙄) Most resets and cleanses aren’t “bad” per se, it’s more about your intention and awareness. For example: Even though I still do my favorite PaleoCleanse a few times a year (1. because I enioy it and 2. It helps me with hormones and liver detox); my approach is very fluid and personalized in its application. I totally drink coffee when I do it because I learned that coffee’s not an issue for me and I’d rather not deal with caffeine withdrawals. I’m not strict with goat dairy when I’m on it either for similar reasons. If I have something social going on during the 2 week period, I simply do my best. I steer clear of rigid approaches (now) because whatever I embark upon at this stage of life is intended to be an exploration and a supportive part of my ongoing lifestyle – always integrating mindfulness and inner work along the way. It’s never a test of control, willpower, discipline and grit. Those days are long gone for me. What I’ve realized over my 55 year journey and in working with hundreds of clients over these past ~15 years, is your INNER state of being drives your OUTER choices, behaviors and even how your physical body responds. So tend to your INNER first and foremost in whatever external actions you try next. xo, Ev |
| P.S. Are you ready to create more of a healthy balance in your body and life? Are you seeking support to guide you through this deeper inner work? So that you can embody more of who you really are? So that you can cultivate more peace and happiness inside and out?Although I still offer all my functional nutrition expertise and coaching, my approach has definitely evolved into deeper inner healing…I’ve found that this empowering INSIDE-OUT approach aids in true healing, gets directly to the root of lasting habit change and improving health, weight and symptoms vs. applying more food rules, lifestyle and mindset hacks.I do all of it, but intuitively guiding clients into more inner understanding, empowerment and wholeness is where it’s at! |
