You Think It's The Diet, But It's Really THIS

I was having lunch with my sis’ and we were talking about 2020 and the shifts happening in our world – in our lives, with our families – and in our Selves – and we realized something very profound….

We were talking about my upcoming Weight Loss Mastery program relaunch and her incredible weight loss transformation…which is one of the success stories I feature in my Masterclass (stay tuned for the reboot!).

She’s now down well over 50 pounds over the past 2ish years (post divorce and job loss), as she’s improved symptoms and lowered inflammation.

She’s still a single mom…She got the very short end of the financial stick trying to do what was best for her 3 kids while being an amicable ex….and it’s been a very tough road.

How she was able to get through this (and continue to work through challenges), never mind, lose 4 sizes, is nothing short of amazing!

From the outside, she lost the weight just by following the simple framework and by indulging more mindfully every week – just like I share with my clients, in my programs – and even here.

She gets questions and comments ALL THE TIME like:

• Oh My GOD, you look amazing!!!
• How’d you do it?
• Are you still on Keto?
• How do you not eat all the delicious things?
• You must be so disciplined!

Things like that…

Not surprisingly, the focus from others is on the diet – the food – the HOW.

But as we were digging deeper into the shifts that have occurred over the years, we can both tell you that the actual diet is very much secondary to her success (and mine).

Although Keto and IF are very awesome – the shift that occurred internally – the WHY – is what got her here…and that shift is what keeps her maintaining her weight “effortlessly”…

She’s not even referring to it as “maintenance” by the way, but I guess that’s what you’d call it in “diet speak”. In fact, she continues to release weight without even trying. It’s pretty amazing to witness this with someone I love so dearly who happens to use my approach. It’s such a blessing!

So as we were chatting, we were trying to identify what this “WHY” is so that we could explain it better to others and so that I could share it with you all here.

I know “MINDSET” sounds so tired and cliché, and in essence that’s what it boils down to, but unpacking that even more, here’s what we teased out:

• She had to “let go” of what was weighing her down emotionally and spiritually – guilt, shame, loss, resentment, anger. This is a continual process. (I too had to do this work – and continue to do so pretty much daily with other patterns I’m working on).
  • I posted this image (above) in my IG stories this weekend because it’s important to discern that “letting go” of something doesn’t mean you pretend it never happened or deny it’s existence. Suppressing negative emotions actually leads to more weight to carry (figuratively and literally).
  • Instead, you acknowledge the negative experience, pattern or trauma. You accept it (not condoning it) and you decide to move forward without clinging or grasping onto it, without being attached to the label, drama or story, or with being “right” or “righteous”. You are completely “letting go” of any attachments to IT (as a ‘victim’ of another person’s actions or a ‘victim’ of a painful circumstance or even to a health or life condition).

• From this place of letting go you now have a “free hand” to pick up what it is you really want. You can now step into who it is you wish to become (see last post) without the old baggage that was weighing you down. Get clear on exactly what it is you really want and then take steps to become that person – BECOME that new version of you (as you let go of the old victim version you have ‘let go’ – in the phase or stage above).
  • My sis had to become Terequa 2.0 (her alter ego) – She’s the evolved bad ass that doesn’t let life knock her down. She doesn’t play the victim or attach to the story that life is ‘out to get her’ anymore.
• This next phase is where, if you’re working on weight loss, you’d work on fine-tuning your ‘diet’ approach, making sure you love it – and that it’s sustainable (aka: that you can do it forever) – along with some sort of exercise and keeping everything else in check: enjoying life, balancing hormones, gut in check, brain working well, good energy, etc…This stage of the shift is more about the HOW and being connected to the WHY all along the way so that you keep consistent…so that you don’t give up or stray too far off the “path”. You don’t need to be perfect…You will and should expect to slip up now and then, but you stay the course no matter what – always learning from the slips and blips that will no doubt happen. You learn from them. You don’t become them or make a story out of these missteps.
• And finally, allow some space for magic. Don’t try and FORCE or make things happen. This is where Teresa flipped the table and coached me (she’s a Life Coach and author specializing on healing and thriving after divorce)…I’m always coaching her on taking more action in her business and to not worry about carbs so much – as she coaches me to relax more with my work, to not put so much pressure on myself and to allow the flow of life to move me and my work. I can’t always be working and pushing. I need to TRUST more…< if I were ever to get a tattoo, this is the word I’d get… and now you know THAT about me..🙂

SO that’s what I wanted to share this week…it may not sound too exciting, but I’m telling you, this is profound when you work at this level…

This is definitely not something you just think about or work on once and you’re done….There are layers and layers to work through. It’s a spiral – an unfolding – of moving forward and then back again, catching what we miss and applying it again until we really get it.

Most of us have to do some serious thought work and inner work here, but I’m telling you – it’s the crux of everything that leads to transformation – especially if you feel stuck in life or with your health, eating, drinking, habits and/or weight.

Let me know what YOU notice, what you’re letting go of and how you’re doing on your journey…

xo,

Ev