Are You Ready for Intuitive Eating (or Drinking)?

Evaluating and Reflecting On Your Behaviors

In the mindful eating (and drinking) world it seems like intuitive eating (and drinking) is Mecca – that ultimate state of being.

It’s the gold standard for having freedom and balance with food and alcohol – without restriction and force (and regret).

It does sound wonderful, doesn’t it?

But to think you can go from restrictive dieting or mindless over-eating/drinking straight to mindful, intuitive eating and drinking – just like that – is soooo unrealistic and very misleading.

Mindful, intuitive eating and drinking is a practice – not a destination.

In the S.A.N.E.R. framework, it’s connecting with every step of the process – in every choice we make – throughout every flippin’ moment of every freakin’ day.

It requires that you be present and aware – and incredibly honest with yourself so that you don’t revert to autopilot.

In other words, it’s really hard!

We’ve covered Setting your intention, Anticipating your triggers and Noticing your urges, thoughts and feelings.  Now we’re at ‘E’ for Evaluating and ‘R’ for Reflecting on your behavior (and Resetting for the next time you practice).

Whether your choices in each moment were supportive of your intentions and goals or whether you reverted back to your old habits and behaviors, it’s critical to Evaluate and Reflect on each choice objectively and without any judgement.

All too often, clients will use their perceived “failures” to create a negative story about themselves

OR some will create an arsenal of excuses so they can continue to play the role of ‘victim’.

“I messed up.””I’m out of control.” “I don’t’ know what’s wrong with me.” “So and so or such and such made me do it.”

Worse, some will just give up. They drift away from their goal and process because they just don’t want to deal. It’s too hard.

Yup – I get it. It’s easier sometimes to avoid the work – to avoid facing the mirror.

But what’s the choice being made by default?

The choice of being stuck – again.

No.

Get back on the horse. All is not lost. You’re not unfixable.

This is where you need an encourager, a troubleshooter, a re-framer, a positive perspective giver but also someone who is straight with you – NEVER someone who is a criticizer, a judge or jury. 

My job is to help you let that self criticism go so that you can move forward –  because that inner or outer critic is an insidious distraction in your transformation.

I don’t care if it takes a million failures. Don’t stop trying. Don’t NOT show up for yourself.

You’ve heard the expression, “The obstacle is the way.”

It 100% is.

By working THROUGH the difficulties, discomfort, patterns and pain, you can let go of your old ways and move toward something new and better.

This is transformation. 

To the brain, it seems scary.  For all the faulty thinking I shared last week around my desire to drink less: The fear of rejection, of rocking the boat, of letting people down, etc..it all boils down to my fear of changing – of failing, of succeeding, of becoming someone new.

It’s only through honest, nonjudgemental evaluation and reflection of your choices that you can learn the underlying why’s and gain an understanding that is the doorway to change. 

Get a piece of paper or journal and ask yourself:

• Whether the choices you are making (or have made) move you toward your goals, deep desires, visions and intentions, or away from them?
• Does or did that glass of wine, that ice cream, cookie, pizza or bread really taste and feel that good?
• How did it feel in your body while you were having it  and how did it feel in your body later on?
• Did it effect your sleep, your face, your skin, your eyes, your weight, your gut, your energy, your mood, your productivity or confidence the next day?
• Was the second (or third) one as “good” as the first?  
• Is it possible to just enjoy the first – the small portion or half portion – or does it seem impossible to stop after one? (The Lay’s Potato Chip phenomenon)
• What stories or excuses are you making this behavior mean or say about you or your life? Are you saying things like “Well, I blew it! Might as well, go all out!” (all or nothing mindset) or are you making this mean something about your character: “I can’t stop.” “I’m so weak.” “What’s wrong with me?” or are you blaming external factors: other people, this diet, this job, this food/substance, this illness or condition, your hormones? (I’m not saying some of these things aren’t real, but are they being used as blocks or excuses?)  
• Are the consequences of the behavior and stories/excuses worth the reward in the short term? in the long term? What benefit are you getting from this behavior?
• What other things do you notice when you indulge?
• On the flip side, when you don’t indulge in the behavior you’re trying to change, how does THAT feel? Reflect on the short term and long term benefits – are there any drawbacks? 

Quick example from the other day: My sisters and I were out having lunch. Sister Day! It was awesome! 

One of my sisters is pregnant so of course, she wasn’t having wine, but my other sister and I ordered a glass of red each.

I was practicing being mindful (and I was also driving). So when my sister ordered another glass (which I normally would do too – actually, normally, we would split a bottle), I chose not to order a second.

I didn’t judge her for having a second. I didn’t lament not having a second. I didn’t create a story that she’s going to feel uncomfortable if I don’t have a second with her. I wasn’t debating that I should or should not have a second glass. I didn’t feel superior that I stopped at one (well, maybe a little bit lol – sorry, T! sister competition is fer-real!).

All I did was NOT order another one.  It was that simple, but it was also huge for me knowing my old patterns. And I continue to practice.

That’s the essence of any intuitive eating and drinking practice.

Sometimes it will involve eating or drinking more or faster or something you didn’t  intend and feeling the results of that decision. Other times it doesn’t.  Sometimes you will be using food or alcohol to mask feelings or to compensate.  Sometimes you’ll allow those feelings to be felt and let go of your patterns and stories.

It’s all OK – it’s all good – as long as you look at things honestly, with self compassion and with an open heart and mind.

That’s the journey.

What have you noticed with your choices with food or alcohol lately? Whether you’re moving toward your goal or away, I’d like to hear from you.

As I wrap up the S.A.N.E.R. framework breakdown and we move on, please let me know below what other topics you’d like me to write about – whether it’s food, keto, fasting, Hashi’s, hormones, fat loss or mindset, I’m happy to give you all my tools, insights and perspectives.

xo, 

Ev