3 Surprising Things Keeping the Scale Stuck

As I work with dozens of women (and a few guys) each week working on weight loss or healing conditions, I thought I’d share my observations of what separates those who are successful from those who are stuck or struggling:

1. Mindset (attitude)
2. Words
3. Patterns (habits)

Hey, we all have our down days, myself included, but have you ever met with someone who’s energy was literally so heavy it brought you down?

It could be the empath in me, but I experience this often.  I feel like one of my life purposes is to help lift people out of that gloom and darkness, but of course, the other person has to be open and willing to pull herself out of it.

If you’re struggling in your life with weight (or anything else), do you think having a mindset and words that focus on how ‘nothing works’ and how bad things are will a) improve things or b) keep you right where you are.

Ding-ding-ding.  The answer is b).

Listen, I know it can be tough. Especially when we try new things, give it 100% effort and we don’t see the results we were hoping for. We feel defeated, frustrated and hopeless. This is especially true with healing and weight loss.

I see women who deprive themselves, do everything “right”, are “compliant” (I absolutely despise that word), and see little to no improvement. So they try a new diet, protocol or program…restrict more, exercise more, meditate more, sleep more, only to end up right where they started (or worse).

They might gain a little traction, lose weight, improve health conditions, but over time, the newness wears off, the deeply rooted mindset (and subsequent patterns) resurface and the weight or symptoms eventually bring them back to the set point where they started (or worse). It’s a vicious cycle – and we ALL have experienced it. Myself included, many, many times.

We must work on the deeper beliefs – the root of all things – to actually experience change and transformation. This is a process, not a 30 day fix.

I’m still a work in process – and I do this for a living, so give yourself some grace and work on shifting your mindset and words to something more positive – as often as possible. Something that resonates with you at the soul level. It can’t be rushed, half assed or faked.

An example might be:

Instead of “Nothing works. I can’t lose weight no matter what I do. What’s wrong with me?”

Try: “I’m nourishing my body and coming into balance.  My weight comes into balance  as I continue to listen, be 100% honest and give myself what I truly need.” <this goes beyond real whole food, macros and movement…this is emotional, spiritual, mental and relational too…this is pleasure, rest, connection, love – honoring your truth and boundaries  – all of it.

Makes sense, right?

The third area keeping us stuck is our Patterns – our thought patterns (mindset, beliefs, attitude, thoughts and words) carry energy – a vibe if you will.  They feed our actions and behavioral patterns. Some of these patterns have been with us since childhood and some are newer.

Start to notice where you might be reaching for certain foods or engaging in activities that are not aligned with where you want to be. You might notice certain times of day or situations that may be triggering what I would classify as “compensatory behavior”.

The first step is to notice these behaviors. Once you notice them, it’s like shining a light in a dark cluttered room, now you can start to clean up – shift away from each destructive behavior and/or – even better, work on the trigger that leads to the compensatory behaviors in the first place.

For some people, there can be a bit of self sabotage going on. Instead of wearing the “I Self Sabatoge” moniker like a badge of honor, just get curious about it.  Is there something about the positive change you’re seeking – that visualized transformation – that makes your inner child feel unsafe? Might people look at you differently? Could you potentially be rejected by people? Might you gain more unwanted attention if you were to change, get healthier, become more attractive?  Will you feel more pressure to be more, do more, perform better if you achieve this optimized state? What if you fail? What if you succeed? What if, what if, what if?

This can drive your inner child – that lizard part of your brain – to make sure you don’t succeed. It’s too scary and uncertain for that highly protective, survivalist aspect of yourself to allow your change and transformation to even happen.

UNLESS…you tap into your Higher Power….this could be your Faith (it is for me), but on a physiological level, it’s the part of your brain that transcends the lizard brain -the Pre-frontal Cortex.

How do you tap into THAT?

The simplest (but not the easiest) way is to surrender – allow your Higher Power to take all your worries. Have Faith. Trust. Boom. Done. (Just don’t do what I sometimes do and take the worries back :)).

Another way is to explore all these false negative beliefs (shine that light on them), maybe write each possibility down and ask yourself about each one:

Is this really true? If it is possibly true, how will I handle it? Will it hurt me? …or in the end, will it make me stronger, clearer, more empowered, inspired and aligned?  Your perception and predictions create your reality, so choose to see things positively instead of as the “worst case scenario”.

Another very common pattern I see with women in weight loss mode is the pattern of jumping from diet to diet.  Or more like: diet > kinda worked, but not really > go off the rails because the diet was too restrictive > find a shiny new diet (or maybe go back to the old diet because, well, it kinda worked even though it sucked so bad) > repeat, repeat, repeat :).

This is a pattern that’s so destructive on a physical, emotional, mental and even a spiritual level, because you start to lose faith in your self and your body’s ability to come into balance. You feel betrayed – even by God – but mostly by yourself and your body.

This is where your mindset, words and patterns all converge and you have a choice again…WIll you:

a) Focus on the negative: Beat yourself up – Zoom in on all your flaws – Blame the xyz diet OR Blame so and so for influencing your “bad choices OR Blame your health condition or hormones OR Blame all the stress and circumstances in your life that got you here?

OR will you:

b) Shift toward the positive.  Get aware and honest about the “root root” causes and patterns that you’ve been choosing? Are you open to finding a new way? Can you be grateful for even the tiniest little thing? Can you celebrate the body you do have – RIGHT NOW – Can you be grateful that you can breathe, that you can move, that you can see, hear, taste, etc… – accept and embrace all the beautiful aspects of you – physically, but also your essence –  the way you help others – your work, your mind, your gifts, your family and friends.

Can you feel how light b) feels and how heavy a) feels? That weight also translates to your physical weight, so choose b) and you’ll start to see the scale lighten up too.  Be patient. Be kind to yourself and be loving. <3